My best friend’s elucidation of me is equal parts silly and serious. Today I want to write about the people who have given me support, and in so doing have made me what I am. 

I think I’ll go backwards in time.
 

Dr. Ozer was a senior colleague when I was stationed at Elmendorf AFB. He offered to help me prepare for the oral board examination. He said to me I should “memorize the DSM” and so I did, all the clinical diagnostic codes including V codes. When I passed, I neglected to share credit with this mentor. For years I’ve been selfish in this way.

Dr. Katherine Hott was a teaching psychoanalyst in Cincinnati and Dayton. More than anyone else she taught me about long term psychotherapy. Her emphasis was to learn about the analysis of the defense (defensive operations). And she inspired me to be willing to examine my own defenses. She knew that I was insecure. Dr. Hott demonstrated rather than spoke of her confidence in me. I didn’t keep in touch, and I wish I had, partly to help with cases and systems but particularly to say, “thank you, Doctor, you taught me important matters.” 
 

I began in the psychiatry residency as PG-2. My first rotation was at the Dayton VA. When the time came to receive evaluations and wrap up, Dr. Sonia Lim recalled my part in the rehabilitation of a cocaine user. “It was clear that you like him, Raymond. Someday, you may become a great therapist when you can help even the ones you don’t like.” Remembering those words always makes me tearful. Once again, I failed to return to Wright State psychiatry to thank the faculty, including Dr. Lim.

At the medical school our teachers were skilled and caring physicians, but they often resorted to verbal mistreatment of the students to make up for vulnerability, imperfection, sentimentality and even envy.
 

Learning not to accept what is said or what appears at face value, and to search fearlessly beneath the surface happened well before medical college. It was my English professor who inculcated these values in us. Professor Concepcion Dadufalza promoted the quote,” It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”

Well, where my father and his father are concerned, I did not fail to express gratitude and affection. Grampie was an attorney, a US Cavalry Reserve officer and one of the first 18 pilots trained in the Philippines. Dad completed the second year of medical school before taking a leave of absence to join a guerilla team in World War II. I suspect American GIs showed kindness to both my parents, and even before they were married my grandfather admonished them to move to the United States, foreseeing a less robust future in the old country. Patriotic and professional themes were important in my family.

Which leads me to you, the reader. Disclosure carries risk. I have never supported indiscriminate declaration. A meaningful journey through life has some value to me. I invite each of you to try a similar introspection.